The confidence to say “I was wrong” 🌱

Ever walked away from a conversation knowing you should have apologized but just couldn’t bring yourself to do it? 😕

Maybe the words got stuck in the back of your throat, or your pride convinced you to hold back. 

Apologizing—really apologizing—is tough because it forces us to be vulnerable, admit we were wrong, and prioritize a relationship over our discomfort. And let’s be honest, these aren’t exactly humanity’s favorite pastimes. When was the last time you heard someone say, "You know what I love? Admitting I was wrong!" Yeah, didn’t think so. 😂

That’s why so many of us default to the half-hearted “I’m sorry you feel that way” or the exasperated “Fine, I’m sorry! Happy now?”—which are more about preserving our ego while checking a box than truly making amends. 

This kind of “fauxpology” misses the mark because it lacks sincerity and does nothing to repair the connection.

But here’s the thing: offering a genuine apology is a skill—one that takes confidence, self-awareness, and a little practice. A skill I will personally be working on forever(!). 

Case in point: Not too long ago, I sensed tension with my cousin but chose to avoid her instead of addressing it. I knew ignoring it wasn’t helping, so I finally sent a text that began with, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you, and I owe you an apology…”—that simple step made all the difference.

As Marjorie Ingall, coauthor of "Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies" puts it, “Apologizing is a courageous act because we’re overcoming all of our own animal instincts and all of our own self-protectiveness when we do it.”

So, how can we approach apologies with more confidence and authenticity? Let’s break it down.

Quick Confidence Tips to Apologize with Authenticity and Impact:

1. Interpersonal: Take responsibility. Researcher Roy Lewicki of The Ohio State University found that acknowledging responsibility is the single most important element of an effective apology. That means ditching the “I’m sorry if” or “I’m sorry but” and instead saying things like, “I was wrong, and I take full responsibility for my actions.” Another powerful addition? Sharing how you feel—whether it’s guilt, regret, or concern for the relationship. Owning up with sincerity validates the other person’s feelings and sets the stage for genuine repair.

   
   

2. Embodied: Give the other person space. Not everyone is ready to hear an apology the moment you’re ready to give it. Instead of pushing for immediate forgiveness, ask if they’re open to the conversation. A simple “Would you be open to talking about what happened?” shows respect for their emotional state. After your apology, you can also offer an “out” to ease any pressure. Phrases like, “I completely understand if you need time to process this” or “I don’t expect a response right now—just wanted to express my regret” can go a long way in making the apology feel genuine, not forced.

   
   

3. Mindset: Forgive yourself first. Apologizing to others is one thing—but what about apologizing to yourself? Self-forgiveness is a key part of emotional resilience. If you’re struggling with guilt or self-recrimination, try writing yourself a short letter. Focus on acknowledging what happened, accepting what you can’t change, and committing to learning from it. Some helpful prompts: What am I ready to forgive myself for? What’s the cost of holding on to this mistake? What will change for me once I let it go? A little self-compassion can help you move forward with more confidence and less emotional baggage. Research has shown that those who practice self-forgiveness have better mental and emotional well-being, more positive attitudes, and healthier relationships.

A strong apology does more than “patch things up”—it strengthens trust, shows integrity, and values your connections. When done right, an apology doesn’t just fix what’s broken; it deepens relationships in ways that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.

Here’s a little challenge for you: Think of one person you’ve been meaning to apologize to but haven’t yet. Reach out to them this week with a sincere apology, keeping in mind the tips above. Notice how it impacts your relationship and your sense of self. 🌟

If you’re open to sharing, has there ever been an apology that was difficult for you to make that ended up changing your relationships for the better? I’d love to hear your stories!